Recently, a movie called The Bucket List illustrated the goals that two terminal patients wanted to achieve before the end came and they "kicked the bucket". I'm not writing mine because I expect to die anytime soon, since the chronic malady of whatever nature seems to be waning on the whole, but because I had this question in my heart for some time that keeps asking me 'what do you want?' rather persistently. In the past, interesting things that shouldn't have been possible (or simple, at least) have unfolded before my wondering eyes when I've dared to ask for some of the things that I deeply wanted to experience. I'm thinking that I should step over the disappointments and start asking again.
1. I want to go back to school, and get a degree that's an active choice rather than the best of a small and limited selection of choices. The longer I go, the more I lean toward some sort of human service or Sociology degree. There are a lot of people who need a lot of help. I would like to become a licensed clergyperson, whatever major I took. For a lot of the things that I want to do, it might be a helpful door-opener. I would also love to pick up whatever study tools they could show me. A lot of the people I've known have done that through correspondence.
2. I'd like to have the energy to get out all the instructional material that I've got for such things as guitars and piano and various languages and put them to use. I think I'll make that one happen to some degree, eventually.
3. I would like to be healthy again--enough said there. I would particularly like to be at a healthy weight. I've actually found some things that substantially help, so that's encouraging.
4. I would like to meet all of my online friends in person, at least once.
5. I would like to have a stable, secure living situation that "felt right". I'm very grateful for the present degree of stability that I have after what's happened in the last two years of my life, but it's not the best fit. I hope that's not too terribly ungrateful.
6. I would like to put my feet on two lands for which I've done a lot of prayer: the Omaha reservation, and Israel. The former may happen within the next few weeks!
7. Appropriately in the "7" slot is my dream of seeing the 77s live and fully staffed, and getting a copy of the new album as the moment unfolds. That also actually has a chance of happening if I can find a way to get to Ames, IA on June 24th!
8. I would like to see my son in a stable and enjoyable career. I put this in the "8" slot, because it's said to be symbolic of new beginnings.
9. I wouldn't mind being in a stable career myself. I'd like to have one that complemented the type of ministry into which so much of my heart has been invested.
10. I would like for the isolation created by the astronomical gas prices and my income of late to be resolved. It somehow doesn't feel right to be missing this much of people, events, opportunities, etc.
11. As my father's child still, I would love to own a good horse that lived right outside my window.
12. I want to have my inner man strengthened to know the height, depth, breadth and length of the love of Christ, according to Eph. 3. I'd really like to be so convinced that it never entered my mind to question it. When I read the life of Paul and some others that were 110% serious about God, I find it easier to grasp that He loves despite all the things that have happened.
13. I would like to figure out the nature of this vast, unmet, nameless need in the depths of my being, and have it fulfilled.
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