Thursday Thirteen #7: Why I Say It

Today, I was thinking of one of those distinctive things that I do that make me a little bit different. I wanted to give thirteen reasons why I do it, even though I have to accompany it with a lot of musing on what's appropriate in a given situation, and occasionally end up being misunderstood.

I tell the people in my life "I love you" as often as I can.

That doesn't sound all that strange, until you realize that very few of the people in my life are blood relatives, and that about half of my platonic friends are male, and that none of the males in my life are "relationships"--I don't see where "relationships" would fit into the present dynamic, and I'm not actively seeking for such. I try not to use those words specifically with those that seem uncomfortable with the phrase, since there are other ways to express it, but I do try to convey the idea. Part of being quick to hear and slow to speak is the search for wisdom that goes on in the interim.

1. One thing that got the ball rolling is when a young man that's more like a brother than a friend said "I love you" to me on the message board in his typical uninhibited Latin manner. We both knew that he didn't mean it "that way". (I generally have the brains not to do such an exchange with someone that might take it "that way".) He has a highly developed concept of the family of God, and an appreciation for the people that God's put in his life.

2. Another issue that came up at about the same time was the stories I would hear about people on their deathbed that expressed their regret that they hadn't told the people in their life more often that they loved them. Well, that's easy enough to fix. You have to be willing to take the risk of making a moment uncomfortably real, but that's probably better than having last-moment regrets.

3. Peter tells us "....see that ye love one another with a pure heart fervently...." (I Peter 1:22). That would probably surface somewhere. We may as well let it out.

4. I know from experience how much random acts of kindness mean to someone who's feeling empty and alone. That also makes it worth the risk.

5. Every day is full of put-downs from many different sources, some of them internal. It's good to give someone a place to come in out of the rain with a few words.

6. Love has to be the purest reflection and glory of a God who is not described as having love, but as being love. Of course, our actions have to match our words, and we have to have the humility to apologize when they don't.

7. One of the greatest ways to demonstrate to the world that something genuinely different is going on is to live out the one big, happy family concept. "By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another." (John 13:35).

8. In the middle of the night, when life is trying to crash in on their heads, people know that they can probably get you out of bed without a rebuke if you care enough to actually say the words. Trust me on that one.

9. We tend to assume that those we love will assume that we love them. We should instead assume that most would rather not be left just to assume. I think that this is particularly true of women, but is probably the case with everyone to some degree.

10. Love heals. I've watched it happen. Those most damaged most need to not be left to assume.

11. Love casts out fear. It's harder to feel alone and helpless with the words of community still freshly filling your soul.

12. Love takes us beyond self-interest. We can choose to be more focused on the needs of the person that we love for affirmation than our trepidation that we may lose face.

13. Love never fails. It's stronger than death. We can breathe more real life into the living with three simple words. Who wouldn't want to do that?

Thursday Thirteen #6: Transported

It's time I got back on the horse with my Thursday Thirteen list!

The subject of art having a satisfying depth sent me on a quest to identify 13 songs that have that something extra that actually transports me as I listen. I hope there's a song in there that will either be one to which someone else can also relate, or discover one among the lesser-known titles that can transport them.


1. "Hold Dearly to Me"

This one has held the position as my favorite for years....hide me, drape me, closely and safely. The place of connection to God with all of our heart and mind is the safest one that we'll ever find. We have these comments from Mike on the 77s message board: "This song was a desperate prayer written at 3 AM in a very frightened frame of mind. For some reason, I decided to try and perform it as a Van Morrison "period piece" circa 1970-72, so the whole approach to the guitars sprang from that vision. I was fortunate enough to have seen Van's live show a number of times in the early 70's so I remember the vibe very clearly.The electric guitar part is pure John Platania, his guitarist from back then, while the acoustic strumming is a direct inspiration from Van The Man himself. The piano and horns were arranged and mixed accordingly."


2. "Carry on Wayward Son"

Besides being representative of Kansas' unusual and intricate arrangements, the song also carries an important message --in a very superficial world that puts pressure on you to put on your own charade, remember Whose opinion really counts in the end.


3. "Lean on Me"

It's another one of my all-time favorites. When I hear this one, I remember moments of give and take with friends that are the stuff that give life depth.


4. "Drift Away"

Dobie Gray performs one of the two songs that I've included that are directly on the subject of the power of music to lift the listener out of a dark state of mind. For me, it not only discussed but achieves that end.


5. "Jazzman"

Carole King does an extended live performance of "Jazzman" that describes the transporting quality of good music as a spiritual encounter. It's rather telling that she relates to scenarios from Christian revival meetings, which haven't to my knowledge ever been part of her own philosophical outlook.


6. "Baker Street"

The bridge, and really the arrangement as a whole, is a launch pad to some amazing place. The lyric is about the practice of "busking", or street performance. It's an interesting commentary on the uneven process of recreating hope from disappointment with ourselves and how our goals have materialized. It's a shame that Gerry Rafferty and Stealer's Wheel bogged down in legal battles--it gives a vaguely prophetic quality to the lyric.


7. "The Road"

The link contains the original lyrics by Terry Talbot and clips of a recorded version by our friend Kyle Knapp that illustrate the haunting quality of the music behind stories of offering Jesus to tired runaways that haven't found that for which they went searching.


8. "The Theme from 'Peanuts' "

I get happy every time I hear the opening bars of this piano piece.


9. "Love Like Gold"

I have some complicated mixed feelings on the subject of romance. I remember thinking the first time that I heard that song that I'd found some empathy. It gets me on a train of thought about what could be.


10. "Summer Breeze"

Here's another one on the simple joys of living in a romance that speaks to me even though I've never had the experience.


11. "Shine"

Besides the fact that it contains some really hot guitar licks in my humble opinion, it puts me much in mind of the search that's described in this passage in Acts 17:24-28:

"The God who made the world and everything in it is the Lord of heaven and earth and does not live in temples built by hands. And he is not served by human hands, as if he needed anything, because he himself gives all men life and breath and everything else. From one man he made every nation of men, that they should inhabit the whole earth; and he determined the times set for them and the exact places where they should live. God did this so that men would seek him and perhaps reach out for him and find him, though he is not far from each one of us. 'For in him we live and move and have our being.' As some of your own poets have said, 'We are his offspring.'


12. "Grace Like Rain"

Todd Agnew's takeoff of the classic "Amazing Grace" has afforded me an emotional connection to the acceptance communicated in the grace of God to us every time I've heard it. I thought that the set of slides on this video carried some compelling images.


13. "Do It for Love"

I wish I could find a sound clip for this one--it's full of contagious joy, and will really get a live show audience up and moving. It reminds me of Jesus' exhortation to the disciples to throw that net out just one more time, even though they were tired of trying. Sometimes we have to choose to grab onto hope again after a long dry spell, because we are well-loved.

Healing America's Wounds

"A simple apology was all that was needed, but that would have required some humility... "

Today marks the 40th anniversary of the death of civil rights leader Martin Luther King. I think it was no coincidence that we were discussing the seemingly contradictory topics of personal dignity and reconciliation with those who would try to take it from us.

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In a passage from John, Jesus is seen answering accusations from the teachers of the Jewish Law. John 8:14-18 NIV says, "Jesus answered, 'Even if I testify on my own behalf, my testimony is valid, for I know where I came from and where I am going. But you have no idea where I come from or where I am going. You judge by human standards; I pass judgment on no one. But if I do judge, my decisions are right, because I am not alone. I stand with the Father, who sent me. In your own Law it is written that the testimony of two men is valid. I am one who testifies for myself; my other witness is the Father, who sent me...." By their own standards, He had a viable reason to believe in His own value to a extent that He didn't feel it necessary to do anything beyond disagreeing with their assertion. He was merely standing His ground instead of wrestling with a legitimate threat to His identity.

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As hatred escalated to an unfounded execution by the cruelest means practiced in the Roman culture that governed the Jewish people of that time, He used His dying breath to ask forgiveness for them as He experienced the end result of their ignorance of His value. As He had said, they and no one else had the power to take His life from Him, so nothing was done outside of His consent; it was instead offered willingly to make a new start possible for those who had lost that inner place of peaceful assurance and had turned to outward posturing to try to satisfy the pull of the void. Still, He was proven right in the end to have trusted the scriptures that foreshadowed His resurrection--"For You will not abandon me to Sheol (the place of the dead), neither will You suffer Your holy one [Holy One] to see corruption." Ps. 16:10 AMP. One who trusts and His God are a majority, no matter who or how many may cast doubt. Truth is indestructible. One who does not trust and does not know where they've come from or where they're going is somewhat at the mercy of the opinions of men.

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How do men form their opinions of each other? Paul says, "Consequently, from now on we estimate and regard no one from a [purely] human point of view [in terms of natural standards of value]. [No] even though we once did estimate Christ from a human viewpoint and as a man, yet now [we have such knowledge of Him that] we know Him no longer [in terms of the flesh]." (II Cor. 5:16 AMP). Men, without the benefit of their Creator's perspective, evaluate each other's worth in terms of what may be personally gained or lost by themselves in temporal matters.

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James, thought to be the first bishop of Jerusalem, instructs his flock in the passage from James 2:
1MY BRETHREN, pay no servile regard to people [show no prejudice, no partiality]. Do not [attempt to] hold and practice the faith of our Lord Jesus Christ [the Lord] of glory [together with snobbery]!
2For if a person comes into your congregation whose hands are adorned with gold rings and who is wearing splendid apparel, and also a poor [man] in shabby clothes comes in,
3And you pay special attention to the one who wears the splendid clothes and say to him, Sit here in this preferable seat! while you tell the poor [man], Stand there! or, Sit there on the floor at my feet!
4Are you not discriminating among your own and becoming critics and judges with wrong motives?
5Listen, my beloved brethren: Has not God chosen those who are poor in the eyes of the world to be rich in faith and in their position as believers and to inherit the kingdom which He has promised to those who love Him?
6But you [in contrast] have insulted (humiliated, dishonored, and shown your contempt for) the poor. Is it not the rich who domineer over you? Is it not they who drag you into the law courts?
7Is it not they who slander and blaspheme that precious name by which you are distinguished and called [the name of Christ invoked in baptism]?
8If indeed you [really] fulfill the royal Law in accordance with the Scripture, You shall love your neighbor as [you love] yourself, you do well.
9But if you show servile regard (prejudice, favoritism) for people, you commit sin and are rebuked and convicted by the Law as violators and offenders.

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Love is the fulfilling of the law, and love values the image of the God that created it, who is Himself love.

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Yet God says of us in Ps. 139:
1O LORD, you have searched me [thoroughly] and have known me.
2You know my downsitting and my uprising; You understand my thought afar off.
3You sift and search out my path and my lying down, and You are acquainted with all my ways.
4For there is not a word in my tongue [still unuttered], but, behold, O Lord, You know it altogether.
5You have beset me and shut me in--behind and before, and You have laid Your hand upon me.
6Your [infinite] knowledge is too wonderful for me; it is high above me, I cannot reach it.
7Where could I go from Your Spirit? Or where could I flee from Your presence?
8If I ascend up into heaven, You are there; if I make my bed in Sheol (the place of the dead), behold, You are there.
9If I take the wings of the morning or dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea,
10Even there shall Your hand lead me, and Your right hand shall hold me.
11If I say, Surely the darkness shall cover me and the night shall be [the only] light about me,
12Even the darkness hides nothing from You, but the night shines as the day; the darkness and the light are both alike to You.
13For You did form my inward parts; You did knit me together in my mother's womb.
14I will confess and praise You for You are fearful and wonderful and for the awful wonder of my birth! Wonderful are Your works, and that my inner self knows right well.
15My frame was not hidden from You when I was being formed in secret [and] intricately and curiously wrought [as if embroidered with various colors] in the depths of the earth [a region of darkness and mystery].
16Your eyes saw my unformed substance, and in Your book all the days [of my life] were written before ever they took shape, when as yet there was none of them.
17How precious and weighty also are Your thoughts to me, O God! How vast is the sum of them!
18If I could count them, they would be more in number than the sand. When I awoke, [could I count to the end] I would still be with You.

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The first quote is from a friend of mine with whom I share time on a message board. It describes the power to forgive as originating in humility. The English word humility derives from the Latin humilitas, recalling the humus, or earth, from which our seen component is drawn. This is not an incentive for God to ignore us; it arouses His compassion: "....he knows how we are formed, he remembers that we are dust." (Ps. 103:14 NIV). It surely should not cause us to direct contempt for each other, since we are in a common state. We dare not forget that we are made of the same stuff as those we may be tempted to cast beneath our feet. The breath of God has transformed dust in ways as diverse as His own personality into creatures who can in small ways touch His artistry, His nurture, His excitement--or pervert the image of His omnipotence into the delusion of unanswered exploitation, thinking that the eternal eyes that made our own have closed.

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What do we do with those whom we've answered that persist in disagreeing with our Creator's affirmation? Matt. 18 describes the process of bringing the matter to them privately, then with another if they won't relent, then another, then the community of God. If they still won't restore their agreement with our dignity, we practice our forgiveness--our cry for mercy rather than punishment on such vulnerable stuff as we ourselves are made--from a safe distance.

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Unfortunately, this doesn't always remedy the emotional weight of the words. In the book Healing America's Wounds by John Dawson, the process of "identification repentance" is described. A representative member of the group that committed the offense that better recognizes the value of the one made seemingly small by words admits that the words were wrong, and the pressure against their trust in their Creator's affirmation is removed. His presence can then fill groups that had previously been keeping Him at arms length with contradictions to His love. Dawson illustrates the principle with numerous examples of how Caucasians and blacks, the children of immigrants and indigenous people, men and women, and others from the spectrum of God's imagination have chosen to say with Him that man was very good, and have experienced His peace at last.

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Joshua, in his instruction to the survivors of the Exodus, said "Choose ye this day...." In our own lives, we can choose to begin to live Dr. King's dream of harmony today.